Big Beards Adventure Tours

Something I said repeatedly the first few weeks I was in St. Croix, that I don’t say much in my life today, is: “I’ve never done that before.” Before I left Arkansas I had never left Arkansas (except for a couple of trips). I had never gone anywhere alone. I had never thrown away a job or even failed to show up. I had never been sailing on the sea. I had never gone topless or without underwear. I had never had a roommate. I had never lived on a boat or been snorkeling, scuba diving, or 75 mgh in a cigarette boat. Before I left Arkansas I had never tasted a Calypso daiquiri or seen crab races or met anyone from other countries like New Zealand and South Africa. I also had never had a married man, with whom I did not have sex, ask me if I wanted to have an affair. (This, I thought was hilarious and I was flattered by, but declined).

Before I went to St. Croix I could only dream. I had no idea how nice it truly was to swim, snorkel, and be in the sun on a boat and a beautiful beach everyday while getting paid because it was my job. This was my experience when I went to work for John Macy at Big Beard’s Adventure Tours. Each day I went to work I was amazed and excited about where I was and what I was doing. I had only been snorkeling once before I was offered a job aboard John’s boat The Flyer. I was to be a crew member who handled the sails and anchors, taught snorkeling to 40 passenger tourists each trip, and guided them through the underwater coral reef trails at Buck Island National Park. The daily routine consisted of motor sailing for an hour up to the beach at Buck Island, snorkel lessons and play on the beach, reef snorkeling, then sailing over to a beach on St. Croix for a barbeque with burgers, dogs, fish and a big cooler of rum punch. We also did the limbo every day.

Yes, I went to work in a bikini, drank rum punch, and did the limbo every day. It was a blast and many times the party wouldn’t end just because we hit the dock. If there was punch left over, we drank it. Sometimes we would meet at a local bar near the dock for a Calypso daiquiri or two. Those are fabulous drinks. They are frozen and made of all booze: dark rum, vodka, Kailua, dark crème de cocoa, and Baileys. YUM! I had a couple of them when I went back to visit a few years ago but they really kicked my butt. I’m not twenty four any more.

Here I am at work at the beach, in a tree, with rum punch !

I will never forget the boat load of brawney New York City firefighters that we took out one day. They all had that hardened NY accent, dark complexions, and obviously pumped iron while they waited around the firehouse with no firetrucks to polish. I just knew these guys were going to be a lot of fun. Well, they were fairly mellow most of the trip, just enjoying the sun and snorkeling fun. After we pulled anchor and headed to the beach for barbeque we always went below and made up that large cooler of rum punch. I think we put a gallon of rum into it. Rum was about $1.50 a liter in St. Croix at that time. They have a Cruzan Rum distillery on the island.

I hauled that heavy cooler up and put it in place, grabbed a cup and poured myself the first sample. When I tasted it I let out a whoop and a holler (that's Arkie for YAHOO!) that it was RUM PUNCH time! This is usually when anyone who was previously sick, scared, tired, or embarrassed because they couldn't snorkel would be the first to grab a cup and most everyone tried it. These guys just sat and stared at me. I stared back. I said, "What's the deal here? We have a big cooler of rum punch!" The guy in front finally told me they were all AA! It got so quiet. I didn't know what to do so I downed the rest of the rum punch I had in my cup. We had to dump the whole cooler in the sea at the end of the trip. I've wondered about them since 9/11. I hope they are still firefighters in New York City.

Most of the time, no one ever wanted to stop drinking on St. Croix. It was one of the most popular pastimes, for sure. My friends and I, at that time, had a funny way of saying we would stay for “just one” but it was always a lie. There were favorite drinks to be had at favorite places and we would drift from one place to the other each night. It was common to take a traveler with you when you left so many drinks were poured in plastic cups. People were always walking the streets with a drink in their hands. A US marshal was a surprised by this and asked me about it once, after hurricane Hugo. They had come down to establish MARSHALL LAW because of the insanity and were posted on every corner with rifles. (more about that later) He told me it was illegal in the states and I was not aware that it was not legal in any US cities to drink in public. Apparently is was and still is. We were not in the US mainland and things were a little different down there.

Another part of my job working for Bigbeard was selling the tours. This was a lot of fun because I got to work on the boardwalk at the waterfront and talk to the tourists while I sipped on a Calypso daiquiri. This is where that married man came along. He kept coming by and buying me those daiquiris. I took them and he was nice but I wasn’t interested in him or being his girl on the side. One of the funniest memories I had from working on the dock selling tours was of a woman who stood in front of me with a very serious face, asking me a question but, I had to crack up laughing. She was sunburned, like most of the tourists but she had applied some lip balm to her lips and continued rubbing it all around her mouth in a very wide area. This part of her face had not been burned and she looked like a clown! I laughed and laughed and said “that stuff really works, doesn’t it?” She was a little embarrassed but her friends were laughing too. I made her feel better when I gave her the perfect solution. I told her to remember tomorrow to put that lip balm all around the burned area and leave her mouth uncovered so she would be evened out. She said she would. I hope she did. She looked really stupid.

When we took the tourist out on Bigbeard’s boat we had to have a talk with them each morning before we set out. There are so many things people don’t know when they get on a boat. Most important, we told them, was to put sunscreen on but to places they would never have thought to like their armpits, their ears, and between their toes. Eyelids were also susceptible and most everyone who came out with us was fresh, meaning they had no tan and needed lots of sunscreen or they would burn up. We were out on the sea, in the sun, for a total of six hours. Of course, I didn’t need sunscreen, just more sun!

John had a three stikes you're out policy for his employees. I don't remember all three but I do remember sitting naked by the pool of a beautiful house, high on the side of a mountain, watching the boat go by when I should have been on it. That was the third time I didn't show up for work and I was out after only about three months. I was so sorry I did that but it was all part of my adventure. I was so intent of collecting new and unusual experiences that I was willing to give up just about anything to be on to the next thing. John and I remained friends, he was just doing his job and had to stick to his policy. He was always good to me. He even let me stay at his big house in the rain forest after the hurricane for a few days and enjoy the pool (where I did not go naked). We have kept in touch and I took my daughter to visit him in St. Croix in 2004. We counted 15 beaches that we visited on that trip. Here is a recent photo of John and I. Dec 2004 He really does have a big beard!

I don't recall if I begged for my job back or not, but I should have. That was the most fun I ever had while getting paid. I did not blow off other jobs after that. It really was not, and never has been, my style.